July 16, 2011 - She is moving on. I need to as well.
This is my youngest daughter Emily. She has been dancing with a studio for the past 15 years. This past week she started dancing with the college she will be attending this fall. They held a summer dance festival/intensive. After seeing one of their spring performances last April she was really worried about not being challenged and not liking the type of dance they do there. The summer dance festival has changed her mind totally. She is embracing the fact that she will no longer be with people who look at dance as a competitive event, but instead an art form to be embraced and celebrated. Being the best dancer you can be is stressed, not winning medals, trophies and titles.
I am very happy about these changes in her life - especially about the attitude and perception of what dance really is. Yet watching her up there yesterday, seeing the changes that are taking place inside her drives home the fact that my baby is growing up and spreading her wings. She will always love me. She will always need me. However it is a different type of need and that is hard for me.
I became a Mom shortly after my 22nd birthday. My entire adult life to this point has been wrapped up in my two daughters and my husband. Slowly I am getting that life back and I am not quite sure what to do with it and honestly not quite sure I am ready for it. :) I don't have much of a choice though, do I?
So to fill some of the extra time I have at least right now, I am going to recommit myself to a daily photo. The feel, intent, mood behind the photo will be different. I don't care if it is the best photo I have ever taken - that doesn't matter. I will take a photo of something from my daily life. It might be the decreasing pile of laundry I have to deal with. It might be the clutter that is my desk. :) Maybe a photo of one of my very special and beloved pets will show up on the blog. Perhaps I will take some special time that day to actually get out there and find something beautiful or I dunno - ordinary that caught my eye and share it. I hope that with this new challenge I will also grow as a photographer, learn to see differently, more clearly.. finesse my editing skills - just get better.
I just need - something... something to help me through this transition in my life. My hope is that by getting my feelings down, whether they be joy, sadness, boredom, pride - whatever I will find myself slipping into what I am supposed to..... find myself walking down the next path in my life.
That is what I hope.